Cyber Fun 2002:
New EU Language Standards
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby 
English will be the official language  of the European Union rather than 
German, which was the other possibility.  As part of the negotiations, 
Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some 
room for  improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that 
would become known as "Euro-English". 
--
In the first year:
  • "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants 

    •    jump with joy. 
  • The hard "c"  will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear 

    •    up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. 
  • There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the 

    •    troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f".  This will make words 
       like fotograf 20% shorter. 
    .
    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted 
    to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.  
  • Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have 

    •    always ben a deterent to akurate speling. 
  • Al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is 

    •    disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with 
    "z" and "w" with "v". 

    During ze fifz yer ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
    "ou", and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
    understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.  If zis 
    mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl.
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    Last Edit 16 August 2002
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