From:  the citizens of the United Kingdom
To:  the citizens of the United States of America

In the light of your difficulties to elect a President of the USA on 7th November 2000 and 
thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, 
effective today.  Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties 
over all states, commonwealths and other territories.  Except Utah, which she does not 
fancy.  Your new prime minister Tony Blair will appoint a minister for America without the
need for further elections.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced 
with immediate effect:

1. There is no "US English".  We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.  Please
  look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.  Then look up "aluminium".

2. English and Australian are very different dialects.  Please make a note of it.

3. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.

4. You should stop playing American "football".  There is only one kind of proper 
  football, that is, the one you refer to as 'soccer.'  Please start practicing, since it is 
  a difficult game.  It does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or 
  wearing full kevlar body armour.

5. November 7th will be a new national holiday, the "Indecisive Day".  It's motto 
  will be "Bush did not sgore."

6. Please tell us who killed JFK.  It's been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your cooperation.